Step Up on Second Writers' Anthology

Awakening from a Dual Diagnosis
By Pauline Chamberline

I strongly believe in being of service to those around me. Allow me to explain.

I lived in the streets for 32 years and I have a dual diagnosis: mental illness and addiction. I have schizoaffective and bipolar disorders, anxiety, and PTSD, plus I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.

I now run a group at Step Up called AA Awakenings. In this group, I try to the best of my ability to educate others who feel lost about their own dual-diagnoses. I want them to see that there is someone who understands their situation and will take the time to help them walk through the beginning of a new outlook on life.

Why do I do this? I do it to be 100% of service and because I do not want to see anyone suffer the way I have. There is feeling of warmth in my heart for those who try to understand their dual-diagnosis. I am able not only to help them find their way back into life, but to support them in finding their own answers.

I came from a dysfunctional family, my childhood was anything but what it should have been, and my alcoholism and drug abuse nearly ruined my life. I used to isolate myself and wallow in my depression. Now, I want to show my peers that there are definitely choices to live a fuller and more meaningful life. Today I feel serene in supporting my peers. It brings calm to my soul.

Others have told me that they get so much out of my AA Awakenings group. They feel there is someone who cares and can relate to their situation and their level of learning. Seeing others grasp what I share of my experience and knowledge about mental illness and addiction is the core of my own joy and peace.

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